Young Love

"Screeching tires, a near miss. A horn blaring sharply into the night. I close my eyes. Here comes the flashbacks.

We were losing track of the days and nights, counting fireflies and waiting for the sun to come around . I was so addicted to you. I remember the exquisite fatigue as I fought off sleep for another hit, another line of conversation. We drove down freeways and winding roads in a sleepless stupor, the stereo blasting love songs that were a cheap imitation of what we felt. Sometimes I wish you would take us over the edge, and we would be forever young and crazy in love. Go slow around those curves. I only want you safe now. It doesn't matter if we're together or apart. I love you so much. I'll love you, right until the end."

I loved you once. I love you still. I love you forevermore.

I will never forgive myself. Neither I forgive this fate. I am a sinner.

by, Lang Leav.

Dear Love

Love, he has abandoned me,
do with me as you will.
Love, he left -- unceremoniously,
why must I love him still?

The best of me I gave to him,
the years, the days, the hours.
Precious little, in turn he'd given,
like dew to a wilting flower.

Love, he sheared away tenderly,
my beauty, my strength, my mind,
the gifts that were bestowed to me --
were swallowed in his pride.

Love, has he forgotten me?
Please tell me what you've heard,
I guard his memory jealously --
with him I'd place my worth.

--Lang Leav

Maktok

Maktok...
Hari tu akak mimpi maktok. Silap akak tak cerita terus kat sini. Tapi akak berusaha untuk ingat apa yang akak mimpi. Sebab akak nak setiap kali akak baca entry ni, akak ada memori pasal maktok. Ceritanya, masa tu kita kat rumah, maktok duduk atas kerusi, tengah kemas barang-barang. Tapi akak tak aasti barang apa. Banyak berselerak atas lantai. Akak datang, maktok tegur...

"Nur, mari tolong kemas ni."

Sambil tangan maktok sibuk mengemas. Akak datang, duduk kat lantai. Cari apa yang paling mudah nak di buat (orang pemalas memang pilih kerja mudah je). Akak tengok muka maktok, senyum. Maktok terus bukak topik. Banyak maktok bercerita. Semua kisah-kisah lama. Tapi akak tak ingat butir bicaranya.

Maktok...
Walau sepanjang hayat lepas akak tak berapa baik dengan maktok. Mungkin boleh dikategori sebagai cucu yang nakal. Mimpi ni buat akak teringat memori-memori lampau masa hayat maktok. Maktok ingat tak masa maktok merangkak naik tangga, maktok merangkak memandang ke bawah tak tengok hadapan. Satu-satu anak tangga maktok panjat. Pap! Kepala maktok terhantuk sliding door. Akak terus gelak. Bukan kurang ajar. Cuma memang kelakar masa tu. Maktok jeling je kat akak :) Rindu...

Maktok...
Ingat tak masa tu hujung minggu, tak sekolah. Akak tengok TV sepanjang hari. Maktok tegur...

"Nur... Kau ni takde surat ke nak baca? Asek tengok TV je."

"Sape jelah nak bagi akak surat maktok kat sekolah tu?"

"Eh kau pergi sekolah, takkan takde surat nak di baca?"

Akak faham maksud maktok buku, tapi saje usik maktok. Suka tengok muka maktok geram je tengok akak. Hihi.

Maktok...
Ingat tak masa maktok masuk hospital maktok terlantar lama kat hospital tu. Akak balik dari UiTM terus pergi hospital jumpa maktok. Mak semua ada kat situ. Akak duduk sebelah maktok, atas katil, membelakangkan maktok. Maktok urut-urut belakang akak sambil mengadu...

"Aduhhh...sakitnya..."

"Maktok sedapnya maktok urut. Kuat sikit lagi maktok."

Akak bergurau je maktok. Akak tau maktok sakit. Tapi akak tak tahan nak dengar maktok mengadu sakit. Saje melawak elak dari menangis :'( Walau akak degil, nakal selama ni dengan maktok, tapi tak sanggup tengok maktok terlantar macam tu, mengadu sakit.

* * * * *

Losing the ones you love, it is unbearable pain. Moving on is another pain you have to deal with. It perhaps take years to heal.